‘Our dramas are based on reality.’ How many times have we heard this sentence? One such drama that has sparked various controversies and ignited differing viewpoints is Jama Taqseem. And, no it is not because of its bold characters or poetic dialogues! The show portrays realities that we rarely talk about, even though they have struck the best of us; realities that we try to push under the rug to save face.
Mawra Hocaine as Laila has been phenomenal – real, if I may. Marrying into a joint family, where there is no concept of privacy. Anyone can barge into your room, open your cupboard, and use your personal belongings without any actual need to ask for permission. Why is it that the family can show ownership but the girl who is newly married and is looking for acceptance, some form of welcome and even approval, must only show ownership for the sake of saying it?
‘Ammi aisay nahi kerti hain,’ or, ‘Humaray ghar mein tou aisa kabhi nahi hua.’ are common statements passed by the members of the family, who claim to welcome you into their homes. What baffles me is that the home is as much theirs as it is hers, so why can’t she fix the sofa, change the direction of the table or put up a frame? In the struggle of losing controlling most people tend to forget to respect the ‘new girl’s’ opinion as well.
The drama clearly questions our society raising concerns about the realities of joint systems and whether they are supportive or neglect individuals.
One of my most favorite scenes I relation to ownership was the part where Laila is deemed a ‘chor’ in her own house! When there are two or more families living in the same house, how are we to decide who can have what? Because God Forbid ‘kitchen alag nahi kerna’. Then please tell, how will the woman who just wanted to make a cup of coffee for her husband clear her name. The funny part is that the issue does not lie in the glass of milk, or a banana that someone ate without permission – it lies in the very fact that even though they want her to call it her own home, they will control any form of liberty that she desires. The drama clearly questions our society raising concerns about the realities of join systems and whether they are supportive or neglect individuals.
Another major issue that the drama highlights is the double standard portrayed in our patriarchal society. The fact that a son moving out of his parents’ home is deemed negative, but his own sister leaving her in-laws’ is her right? ‘Humari Ammi tou buhat achi saas hain’, or ‘Hum tou aisi nandein nahi hain.’ are typical statements passed by in-laws. I mean, everyone would think that their mothers are the most perfect humans or that their fathers are complete, proper humans who would never hurt a fly. But, is it not unfair to expect the new bride to ‘fit in’ all the roles, be it caregiving, service to the elders and other members of the house or adjust according to the norms of the new family. ‘Humara Bhai/Beta cheen liya.’ is another label that the new bahu gets when she enters the family, because the newly married couple are trying to understand and listen to each other.
Why is it that the daughter-in-law must be judged because of her parents’ financial status, the amount of Jahez she brings and even the amount of money her husband earns? Why is it that the daughter-in-law creating boundaries is ‘humara ghar tor diya hai.’ but the same mother-in-law celebrates her daughter establishing the same boundaries. Why does the bahu have to be deemed a good one by her ‘naram roti’ but the beti can conveniently order food because she’s tired? Why does the bahu always have to struggle to prove herself but the beti can get away with anything? The drama has raised questions about fairness across genders and asks why independence is acceptable in one case but not the other.
Another major storyline that the drama has portrayed is that of, harassment and abuse within the family home. It shows how Sidra is not safe in her own home and is harassed by a male cousin. After complaining, the drama shows how even her mother fails to notice or respond to her distress. It is important to understand here that abuse and harassment are not just external threats; they start from within the family. It also raises the importance of listening to children and being aware of the power dynamics of the household.
It also goes off to show how a person’s family is treated if they do not have any primary role in the family business or does not earn well. Why is that a father already struggling financially also must watch his family being demeaned at home as well and struggle for dignity and their basic rights among other family members.
It also highlights a couple more issues. How, firstly, Qais does not even believe his own wife, Laila’s statement about the harassment until he sees it with his own eyes and secondly how the perpetrator’s mother refuses to believe anything and puts the blame on yet again, the ‘new bahu.’ Why must everything bad that happens in the house be transferred automatically to the ‘new bahu’ – someone who is already struggling with adjusting into her new home. ‘Jab say yeh aayi hai meri/mere ghar ki halat kharab hogayi hai.’, may be this statement is true and not because the new bahu did something wrong but only because she raised issues and concerns in the family that nobody talked about before.
The show Jama Taqseem primarily shows that structural issues prevent action, how the emotional toll of silence ruins lives and costs one must pay for staying quiet. It goes on to show how culture glorifies family norms without highlighting hidden downsides. The contrast between the ideal family and the real experience raises the question – what needs to change?
The writer is a Lawyer and an Academic and aims to raise her voice for the women in Pakistan by writing down her opinions pertaining to social and cultural norms of the society.